Self-Care vs. Selfishness

One of the biggest deterrents in taking self-care seriously is the idea that self-care and selfishness go hand in hand. It’s a false correlation that, unfortunately, keeps so many of us slaves to bad habits and schedules that only deteriorate our mental (and sometimes physical) health. It’s time to debunk this myth and redefine self-care as distinctly separate from selfishness.

Self-Care Is Not:

-Neglecting your responsibilities to make life easier

-Spending your free time on things that make you feel good

-Always putting your needs before the needs of others

-An excuse to be lazy

Self-Care Is:

-Reprioritizing your responsibilities, asking for help when you’re overwhelmed, and delegating tasks to people you trust

-Making time to rest and recharge in order to better accomplish your goals and choosing hobbies that enrich and improve your quality of life

-Knowing how to set boundaries to protect your personal time and accommodating others’ needs alongside your own

-A reason to recognize when you need to slow down

The idea of selfishness is so hard to combat, but it’s essential to embracing self-care. Though on paper it sounds like the logical life choice, it’s quite difficult for us to actually accept without a lingering feeling of guilt or the thought that we should be doing something more tangibly productive. The facts are that self-care is important, it’s just not quantifiable. If we are approaching our lives from a well that is constantly being emptied, we’ll soon only be able to invest tired fragments of ourselves in our jobs, family lives, and personal goals. While we may have friends and family that are generous in finding ways to fill our well, we can’t rely on that forever. There comes a point where we have to accept the responsibility of finding sustainable ways to keep our wells full. The difference is that this is a responsibility without diminishing returns. If we dedicate pieces of our time to sustaining ourselves, our social, professional, and family lives will thrive. The better people we are to ourselves, the better people we can be to others. The more of ourselves we can give without feeling drained. The more fully, joyfully, and consistently we can continue to grow, bringing others along on the journey.