The Responsibility Bug
It’s one of the first things that consumes our attention when we wake up in the morning. From the moment we pick up our phone to snooze our alarm, we’re bombarded with it. We do our best to balance it, the day spilling over with places and people that demand our time and energy. Even when we get home in the evening, it still vies for our attention as we try (unsuccessfully) to wind down. We all know it well, we all have experienced it to varying degrees--the Responsibility Bug.
Being busy, accepting an overwhelming amount of responsibility, and signing our time away to our jobs and chores are the easy parts of existing in a culture that demands our attention. The hard part--the part that requires discipline, boundaries, and balanced self-interest--is learning how to prioritize and combat this crazy culture of busyness and create a more healthy environment in our day-to-day lives.
It’s easy to feel like there isn’t enough time in the day to even think about slowing down enough to change our habits--like if we don’t answer that text right away, if we don’t take those clothes to the dry cleaners before rush hour, if we don’t stop to load the dishwasher this very moment, everything will pile up on top of us. The truth is, there will have to be a little chaos before there can be calm.
Where do I start?
Take a breath and take inventory. Each of these concepts is critical in maintaining mental health and daily organization. Before any practical work can be done, we have to reorient our personal approach to it. Create a quiet moment for yourself, put your responsibilities on pause, and take inventory of your time. How much of it is being consumed by work? By household maintenance? By meal prep and homework help and finances? How much of your time is for you and only you? The only way to reorganize your schedule is to first figure out what parts of your life are draining your time and energy.
I have my inventory list--now what?
You’re never going to be able to completely do away with the things that drain your time. Your job is your livelihood, your kids are your heart, and your house is your haven. Those responsibilities will always be present, but you don’t have to shoulder them alone! Find the areas of your life where you can learn to accept help. Maybe mealtime is your biggest stressor and hiring a personal chef will save you hours of grocery shopping, meal planning, and cooking. Maybe you’ve gone too long without a vacation to recenter yourself and reconnect with your family. Maybe it’s as simple as saying no to new responsibilities and protecting the precious time you need to spend with yourself and your loved ones. Creating these boundaries are hard and will probably stretch muscles you haven’t used before. Though uncomfortable at first, though you may feel the pull to immediately answer every text and email upon waking up or say yes to every professional and social engagement, that feeling is growth.
How do I maintain this change?
It’s a nice sentiment to think that a breath of fresh air and an inventory list will reveal all the answers to calming the chaos of the Responsibility Bug. The truth is, that’s just the beginning. Along with this inventory list, it’s important to set and commit to future personal goals. Your life won’t change overnight, but if you can dedicate yourself to small increments of change, you’ll reap the benefits over time. It can be as simple as investing in a real alarm clock and leaving your phone in another room during bedtime, keeping your nights and mornings as sacred personal time. Perhaps it looks like taking a week off of PTA commitments and spending a Saturday with your kids at the park. Set small, realistic goals rather than trying to upend your life in one fell swoop. Self-care is difficult, but your life will change if you take the time to commit yourself to reaching a deeper sense of satisfaction and personal growth. The Responsibility Bug shouldn’t be the norm, even though our culture demands that busyness equals success. This chronic busyness will only wear on your ability to care for yourself. Learning to reject this idea, reprioritize your responsibilities, and reorient yourself in a deeper and calmer routine will improve your ability to derive a greater sense of joy from a life that previously only drained you.